You read these inspiring articles online or in the magazines - if you're not doing what you love, make some changes, get a new qualification, start again, blah, blah, blah. Well, I did that and at this point in time, it's not working out so well.
Which isn't to say I regret it. I don't. I am very proud of my qualifications. Not the end result, the bit of paper, per se, but that I actually stuck it out - through all the stress, the illness (yes, studying made me seriously ill), the never-ending-ness of it. I'm starter, not a finisher. I love new projects. I love shiny. I love potential. I get bored with the day-to-day of things pretty quickly. Dishes, laundry, filing, timesheets - blurgh. But I stuck it out for six long years and I actually finished it. I proved to myself, in a grand way, that although I don't enjoy the blah, I can see it through.
|Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, oh, look at that ...|
The irony of my unemployment is not lost on me. Most jobs in my post-grad field are Sydney based. If there is one place on the planet that I simply do not wish to live (and neither does the family), it's Sydney. We're not really city people; we 'cope' with Brisbane living. I think Sydney would send us all around the bend within a week. Most jobs in my grad field,for someone with my limited experience, are site based. Which would be wonderful, if I were the standard graduate with five years experience - mid 20s, young, unattached, footloose and fancy free (I have vague memories of those days). The 'fly in-fly out' or 'drive in-drive out' lifestyle gets very old, very quickly even if you are in the right age bracket. For someone fast approaching, ummm, twice that age bracket, with a teenager, with a husband, with a life - it gets old even before you start. And my pre-grad field? Well, I'm too qualified and no-one's even nibbling.
Some days I really enjoy staying home, getting up late, pottering about in my PJs, baking in the middle of the day, not stressing about how to fit my studies into 5 minute blocks of time. But some days the budget and boredom and the lack of mental challenge and, quite frankly, the rejection, all pile up and this feels like a big pile of poo. double sigh.
And yesterday was one of those days. I thought I'd check the next creativity journal challenge. I got thinking about it. I worked on something that meets the challenge. And then I was inspired. I'm still thinking it through. I'm not sure how it's going to pan out. I'm not convinced it the answer to my unemployment blues, but I'm going to take the first step or two and see what happens.
One thing's for certain, today will be too busy for the blues to stick around for long. I'll let you know how it all pans out.